CONFLICT RESOLUTION: A Leader's Badge

Conflict has been with us since Adam’s era; and we have witnessed
many books and articles written about it. So, many of us would
innocently ask, “Why do we have to keep writing about it? Haven’t
we mastered the art of handling conflicts yet?”

“The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for
which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual
power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.”
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Well, on deeper thought, I believe people don’t or never read those
books or articles… while those who have read it, never applied it;
others, point to change. And so, they never learned how to deal
with conflicts. On the other hand, those who applied it have already
passed away... or, the book has simply been forgotten or damaged
by time. With that, books and articles not just about “conflict” but
almost everything continue to be written to date, even rehashed,
to remind us all that…

COOPERATION is a vital cog to success… people needs people.

Good relationships are key in and out of the corporate world…
without it, we can not achieve success and happiness. We are all
aware of this, after all, “no man is an island.” Yet also because of
these interactions, we run into a gamut of cobwebs… and some,
sadly end up in broken ties.

And so, we now come to “conflict resolution”… again.

Let’s dig into the roots of the matter…

Why do discords happen? How does it start? What are the signs
of such? Is it always destructive? When is it destructive and when
is it constructive? What are the conditions fostering conflict? How
do we minimize, divert, manage, control, avoid and resolve it?
And finally, how do we then strengthen relationships?

Understand, there’s many reasons to why discords happen.
Nevertheless, some of the causes of conflict are when individuals
or groups do not get what they need or want… sometimes due to
differences in values or lack of knowledge… varying expectations,
responsibility issues, or just being judgmental… competition, power
struggles or simply seeking their own interests… sometimes they just
unconsciously speak or act out their own desires… sometimes it’s
sectoral in nature… and sometimes, it merely stems from one’s
feeling of superiority for whatever reason.

“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find
disorder and every evil practice… Peacemakers who sow in
peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” -James 3:16, 18

A Leader can maintain a low-conflict setting within the organization
by being aware of the elements of conflict and the conditions
fostering it. Let’s examine.

Factors that predispose individuals to engage in unnecessary conflicts:
· Poorly defined jobs, tasks responsibilities and range of authorities.
· Prior history of conflict between two or more people of groups.
· Interdepartmental relationships that frequently place members at cross purposes; traditional adversary relationships.
· Unreasonable levels of pressure and pace in the organization.
· Severe economic downturn that jeopardizes the job security of organization members.
· Overly competitive climate fostered by top management and managers at various levels.
· Favoritism shown by managers.
· Primitive, accusative, or threatening style.

Now, conflict between people usually follows a series of stages, let’s see:
· People want something but run into someone who disagrees them or obstructs their progress.
· Both parties feel frustrated because they can’t do or get what they want.
· They explain their frustration by blaming each other.
· They feel angry and do or say things based on how they have come to interpret what happened.
· Both parties react, and the conflict escalates.
· Someone perceives that the conflict could get out of hand and initiates a way to manage it. Here’s where conflict management skills is needed. And several techniques may be used. (National Press Publications)

Here, Kenneth Thompson identified five COMMON methods for
managing a conflict situation; then asked CEOs which approach
they used. He found that they used all five, but each under
different circumstances. Following are the methods and when to
use them. When a conflict arises, use the approach that best fits
the situation.

1. Insist upon your preference – be dominating and forceful:
· In an emergency when quick, decisive action is vital.
· On important issues – when unpopular actions need implementing, when cutting costs, or when enforcing strict rules or disciplinary measures.
· On issues vital to the organization’s welfare when you are very sure that you’re right.
· With people who take advantage of others’ consideration.

2. Giving in and accommodating the other person:
· When you may be wrong, to give way to a better position or to show how reasonable you are.
· When issues are much more important to others than to you to satisfy them and to maintain cooperation.
· To build up social credit so you can request reciprocation in the future.
· To minimize loss when you are out-matched and losing.
· When harmony and goodwill are especially important.
· To help team members grow by permitting them to go ahead and make a mistake and learn from it.

3. Create a trade-off or suggest a mutual compromise:
· When your opponent has equal power and you both are committed to mutually exclusive goals.
· To achieve temporary settlements to complex issues.
· To arrive at an expedient solution when you’re under time pressure.
· When your goal is important but not worth the effort of being more assertive with the resistant person.

4. Just avoid or postpone a conflict:
· When an issue is trivial or more important issues are pressing.
· When you see no chance of things going your way.
· When potential disruption outweighs the benefits of pursuing the matter.
· To let people cool down and gain perspective.
· When someone else is in a better position to resolve the conflict.
· When the issue is minor or symptomatic of deeper problems.

5. Generally, the best method for managing conflict is to collaborate, to create a “win-win” or an integrative solution that satisfies both parties:
· When both sets of concerns are too important to be compromised.
· To merge insights of people with different perspectives.
· To gain long-term commitment by reaching genuine consensus among everyone involved.
· When feelings that have built up during the conflict need to be worked through before a satisfactory agreement can be reached.

Building a successful and effective working team is not without its
challenges and failures, but the effort will reap many rewards for
your company. We have to learn, apply and pass on to the next
generation our “genuine” desire for harmony. Yes, so many pages
have already been written…

Still, in the end, if we really get to the roots of disagreements, the
solution is really “simple”… COMMUNICATION. We have to open
the lines and express ourselves. Just trust your intuition this time.

Any relationship problem, any, professional or “personal”, can be
fixed and strengthened through “sincere” interaction. Therefore,
speak respectfully and listen empathically… be “selfless” not Selfish.
Always use the team’s goal as your guide. And compromise if it’s
the best way.

“Every line a man writes, and every act in which he indulges, and
every word he utters serves as unescapable evidence of the
nature of that which is deeply imbedded in his own heart, a
confession that he can not disavow.” – Napoleon Hill

With this, Leaders should encourage their people to personally
do their share towards attaining and maintaining a harmonious
environment, full of cooperation and brotherly love. One should
be reminded to acquire everything he needs in the fulfillment of
his main purposes in life, without violating the rights of his fellow
men. This then would minimize, if not, avoid disharmony but
promote synergy.

Consider a spiritual transformation. Inspire by walking where the
Great men have walked. More than the known corporate
guidelines for settling conflicts, use the following instead:

· HUMILITY… To divert or minimize discords.
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
but with humility comes wisdom.” - Proverbs 11:2

“Congratulate yourself when you reach that degree of
wisdom which prompts you to see less of the weaknesses
of others and more of your own. For you will then be
walking in the company of the really great.”
~ Napoleon Hill

· TRUTHFULNESS… To anticipate or avoid disputes.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you
free.” - John 8:32

Remember, conflicts could only be settled if we Speak the
TRUTH about our needs, etc… and learn to listen as well.

· GOLDEN RULE… To control or avoid differences.
“So in everything, do to others what you would have
them do to you…” - Matthew 7:12

Here, it’s all about consideration of others which is crucial
to cooperation, the underlying element to a “win-win”
relationship.

· LOVE... To manage and solve disagreements.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace
with everyone… if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he
is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you
will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome
by evil, but overcome evil with good.” - Rom. 12:18, 20-21

And keep in mind, Love isn’t complete if we can’t forgive.

Let’s listen before we speak… and look before we act. Be Helpful.

Remember…
What we sow is what we reap, ultimately, we get what we deserve.