To Be THAT LEADER... Build Relationships.

People need people.

This is the rudimentary notion why we need to build relationships;
yet, I am sure that some are aware that not everybody would agree
to this belief, instead treat it as just a whim.

For those who agree:
People need people to survive, to succeed and to be happy.
For those who disagree:
Not all people need people because they already have what they
need to survive; and that they consider themselves successful
and be happy. We could then sense that these people are already
moneyed.

Still, even with money, here're some thoughts to ponder:

• If you need food, wouldn't you need someone to at least get it for you? Unless you grow your own food and do all the dirty works, then you don't really need someone.
• If you get sick, wouldn't you need someone to at least get medicine and care for you? Unless you grow your own herbal medicine and do all the dirty works, then you don't really need someone.
• If you need to express yourself, many times, a pencil or a paintbrush is not enough. We need someone to talk to or at least to feel the presence of.

See, many rich people unknowingly suffer from relationship
imbalance as sincerity is questionable... and commitment only
depends on money.

So, think about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, from physiological
to self-actualization -- people need people.
Hence, building relationships is vital... though you don't need to
be a "social butterfly" just to survive, succeed, and be happy.

Thus here, we choose the kinds of relationships we need to be
fulfilled in our lives... to nurture them to remain fulfilled and to get
the support we hope for specially in times of need.

"The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining." - JFK

RELATIONSHIPS TO BUILD

• SPOUSE, CHILDREN. A spouse can either help or hurt; but a supportive spouse and a happy family is your best ally specially when the chips are down. This is the most important of your relationships... the only one you can be "truly" intimate with... your most trusted ally... your buoyancy in the journey of life... your inspiration.

"No one can foretell the possibilities of achievement available
to the man whose wife stands at his back and urges him on...
it is your right and your duty to encourage your husband and
urge him on until he shall have found his place in the world."
- THE LAW OF SUCCESS

What do we do?
Put your family on the calendar. Schedule activities. Schedule
vacations. Leave work early if you are taking your children trick
or-treating. Buy flowers for your wife. Clip a loving note for your
husband. Have dates. Give them top priority. When your
spouse or children speak to you, give your full attention. Build
as many happy memories as possible. Quality time with your
family will reward you a thousandfold.

"A strong relationship with a spouse can be a tremendous
source of energy for a leader." - John C. Maxwell

• WORK-RELATED. These include customers, subordinates, suppliers, employees, peers, and associates even networkers among others. Remember, your sustenance basically comes from this group, so treat everyone special; as your organization is like a machine, you need everyone oiled for it to work well.

What do we do?
Use good manners, all the time, with everyone. Be empathic.
Learn to listen well. Treat everyone's office and belongings as
if they were yours. Know everybody by their first name. Know
something about them. Be a credit maker, not a credit taker.
Send thank you notes. Give informal surprise bonuses for those
who does an extraordinarily good job on something. Organize
annual sports day and excursions. Keep in minda your people's
families, arrange an occasional "weekend for two" for a job well
done.

Understand that customers are the lifeblood of any company.
Be courteous and don't waste their time, or anyone else's time.
Instead use time positively, take one of them to lunch every
Friday. And don't forget to always try to say something nice,
it'd make people feel good and contribute at high levels.

10 Things To Say That Make People Feel Good (Jeffrey Fox):

1. "Please."
2. "Thank you."
3. "You remember Larry Kessler in our Accounts Payable department." (An introduction of someone to a superior.)
4. "That was a first-class job you did."
5. "I appreciate your effort."
6. "I hear nothing but good words about you."
7. "I am glad you are on the team."
8. "I need your help."
9. "You certainly earned and deserve this."
10. "Congratulations."

"If you don't believe in cooperation, look what happens
to a wagon that loses a wheel." - Napoleon Hill

• FRIENDS. These include but not limited to people outside your company, like neighbors, schoolmates, and network connections among others. Here is one area where we could really choose whom to connect with. More than sharing interests or going to the same school, we should also muse on one's integrity... and values; as the famous maxim goes...

"Tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are."

What do we do?
Don't smoke just because everybody is smoking. Think healthy.
Help your friends be better people. Be positive. Avoid gossip.
Do sports. Share news and activities. Drinking is not really bad
provided it's just a shot or two, so drink to socialize not to get
drunk... and be sensitive to time, money, and energy.

"A wicked man puts up a bold front, but an upright man gives
thought to his ways." - Proverbs 21:29

Don't sacrifice virtue especially for fun sake. Now, when your friends
realize your worthiness and that you truly care for them, you will have
a stronger bond. And a strong connection is like having another hand
to help you get further.

Leadership requires energy -- mental and emotional. If we have our
relationships in good shape, it would not only help us a great deal in
stress management; but it would also reenergize us and help us
perform better towards our goals.

Take note, good relationships don't just come on a silver platter but
are built by reaching out and constantly working on it.

As a rule of thumb, apply the following Guidelines to have and
maintain a Good Relationship:

1. GOLDEN RULE. Bear in mind, "what we plant is what we harvest."
2. SINCERITY. Be truthful in your dealings. Never deceive in any way.
3. THINK WIN-WIN. Always find common ground to build on. Don't be selfish.
4. BE CONCERNED. People have feelings, if you really care, it'll go a long way.
5. COMMUNICATE. Anything can be fixed. Everything can be strengthened. Just talk.
6. COMMIT. Honor your word. Be there, rain or shine. And sacrifice, if needed.
7. GIVE TIME. This is the glue that sticks everything together. Give yourself.

Never say or act out anything on impulse... if you do, it'd prove to
be the biggest mistake you'd make in any of your relationships.
Regret always come after saying or doing something on impulse... so,
think and think hard before you "could destroy the good" that could
have been. Patience is key.

It takes a matured person to understand and accept responsibility...
and a thinking Leader to realize that relationships, specially personal,
are key to one's "enthusiasm"... the spring of achievement.

How much you VALUE your relationships... echoes in your life.

Consider what a loved one had to say some time ago...
"We can find many ways so long as we are together."

No one can climb the ladder of success without taking anyone along.

Remember...
Your success lies on how well you build & maintain your relationships.